Ginger Nuts of Horror
There seems to be a propensity among film companies, distributors and packaging artists to misrepresent films as being other than what they are. I've noticed this a lot, in particular, with Metrodome's releases of Asian films such as Painted Skin or The Founding Of A Republic. Most recently, I've noticed this disparity with the film A Walk Among The Tombstones; a film which is in all aspects marketed as a non-stop action thriller when in reality, it is a dark, brooding thriller with little action but plenty of mood and storyline. I suspect these things are done to lure an audience that otherwise would never pick up these films, but the fallout is that people will dislike a film when they were expecting something else, while others will avoid something they may actually have liked. Strange.
What Dan Rickard did with his weekends: Darkest Day.
The plot here is something rather familiar, it’s the ‘Rage Virus’ type of Zombie film taking much of the general feel of ‘28 Days Later’, which in this film is solely set in a somewhat apocalyptic version of Brighton.
PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE HAS JUST DROPPED DOWN A NOTCH.
American Rescue Squad needs an American Rescue Squad.
American Rescue Squad starts off with a lengthy semi-animated history lesson about American Independence. Tedious crap.
Then it attempts to be a superhero musical comedy.
‘The Taxpayer’ has been kidnapped and will be executed; he’s a low-rent ‘superhero’ with a ridiculously and quite deliberately poor costume.
‘Common Sense’ and ‘Personal Responsibility’ are superheroes who are sent to rescue ‘The Taxpayer’.
Slasher films come and slasher films go. It has been a while since there has been a really good slasher film of note. The Town That Dreaded Sundown promised so much when it was first announced, a clever take on an age old horror film premise, a Scream for the 2010s sadly the film doesn't quite live up to the expectations.
Being a doctor must be a great job, you get to meet lots of people, well paid, nice car, the respect of your community and the sense of well being from actually having a job that gives back must make you feel really good. It is a hard job, one that requires years of training and dedication, not everyone is up to the job. Many fail, so you would think that as part of their training there would be a little course on how to pick where you practice medicine.
Any doctor who is making the move from burnt out city doctor to that of the cozy local Gp in a quiet little village should be made aware of the inherent dangers and downright stupidity of taking on one of these posts. Be it killer mutant spiders, crazy wild animals running amok, or even some long buried deadly disease you know your life as the Gp is not going to be easy. The doctor in Deep in the Darkness, not only has to contend with some rather odd and creepy residents, he also has to deal with a dark and deadly threat from the dark age and the dark part of the wood.
Somewhat of a curiosity this, on the one hand it is a supposedly factual and horrific tale of two body snatchers in the Edinburgh of 1827, on the other hand it's a bawdy romp making light of the legend of murderous resurrection-men Burke and Hare.
I have seen a lot of horror movies which fall into the 'so bad they are good' category, but 'Dead Kansas' isn't one of them, it just seemed to have been made as a labour of love, with the best of intentions and yet missed the mark in many ways.
There are times when I wish I listened to what my mother used to say. She would always tell me If I had nothing good to say then I shouldn't say anything at all. So it's a good thing she hasn't got internet access, otherwise I would be getting a slap around the ear for what I am about to say. Hooked Up is one of the worst horror films I have had the displeasure of watching in many a long month. It is the sort of film that made me stop watching horror films for almost two years.
If there is one thing that Britain does well, it has to be the low key, thoughtful and emotionally packed horror film. Films not borne from a massive Hollywood budget, but ones born from a passion a need to make films. Curse of The Witching Tree is one of those films.
Mr Mandalor (Alan McKenzie) makes horror movies, or to be more accurate horror movies which are so bad that they are unintentionally funny such as 'Rabid Babies from Outer Space'. Mr Gelstein (Scott Cranwill) of 'Gorrific Pictures' is a producer/distributor who is tired of Mandalor bringing him such dreadful films and tells him not to bother unless he can produce something actually horrific.
With the best of intentions and minimum capability Mandalor attempts to make another movie, ably assisted by his Igor-voiced cinematographer Rodney (Dan Baker-Moor: The Jogger). Things start off badly as an actress does a remarkably poor job of acting out her lines, so bad that Mandalor loses his temper and beats her to death with a telescope. His moment of madness continues with him instructing his cameraman Rodney to keep rolling, and his dim-witted mono-browed undertaker's assistant and lead actor Gustave (Kris Scoran) to do everything written in the script, only this time for real, on the corpse of the actress. Amid much maniacal laughing from Mandalor everyone keeps working on what is a truly revolting scene.